The Sci Fi Guy

The Day the Earth Stood Still. An exciting title for a movie created a half-century ago about our penchant for violence and a sinister love affair with Miley Cyrus headlines [wait, what?]… Moral of the story: Let’s all be good or the interstellar space consortium won’t let us in to the club.

Enter Keanu Reeves. As a socially inept alien:

“Whoa bro… Like, the Earth is special, and, like, all you humans are trouble ‘cuz you want to mess it up.”

Enter Jennifer Connelly. As a scientist with a widow-production bastard step-child. (This is true, I’m not creative enough to conjure that character struggle out of thin air):

“But, like, we can change. I won’t actually demonstrate how we can do it because that would require actually creating a plot mechanism to demonstrate that humans are capable of denying the fundamental issues that have raged on our planet since we learned we could hurt each other by hurling rocks at one another, but seriously… Change is totally our thing.”

And sayeth the Klaatu/Keanu:

“Oh. I see, like, your bastard step-son [sorry, I'm just enjoying that phrase too much] is, like, capable of hugging you because I, like, scared him and stuff. You can change. Good times. I shall sacrifice myself.”

-Fin-

There. I just handed you the movie. Don’t waste your time. It’s a B-movie in an A-movie’s clothes – and even that might be pushing it. Some of the special effects are movie-of-the-week quality (although the disintegrating truck is cool; but that was on the movie’s trailer so it doesn’t count). All this movie needed to save it was some sort of actual, believable method to show that humans really can change. The truth is that an alien visit might prompt us to work together, get over our differences quickly, and go star-hopping. But it’s not in the movie, so the whole thing falls apart. There’s really nothing redemptive about the whole movie – no standout performances, no saving moment of awesome visual effects. It’s just a dud. Don’t waste your time.

If you haven’t noticed by now, I take my jolly time getting around to seeing movies. This year I’ve actually visited the movie theater more than once! Imagine that. Anyways, yes, I finally got around to seeing Iron Man and decided I’d share some of my thoughts on the film.

First off, I’ll admit it… I liked it. For someone who’s grown utterly tired of the nonstop comic-book-turned-movie machine that hollywood has become, I had enough people let me know that this might be worth my while. And I’ll admit they were right. Iron Man is a very enjoyable movie. It’s slightly silly in almost every aspect, but nonetheless it delivers where it counts. There’s a giant awesome suit of armor. And the suit of armor kicks ass.

Personally, I think the secret to the movie is actually the casting of Robert Downey Junior. He’s not entirely plausable as super-mechanic and weapons guru extraordinarre, but he does fit the bill of Rolling Stone magazine cover party boy quite well. But more than that, Downey is a capable actor that can actually play the role and look like he’s having fun doing it. The cast of supporting actors and actresses fits the bill well, and there’s another great Stan Lee cameo (”Heya Hef, how’s things?”) that you have to pay attention for to even catch.

So, as the story goes, Tony Stark (Downey) is a weapons expert who’s made protecting America “cool”. Weapons rock – and Stark Industries supplies the US military with the best in the world. You know, to defend freedom and all that. But of course, lo and behold, Tony has a realization when he discovers (while being shot at by his own weapons) that his weapons are falling in to the wrong hands. And after saving himself from the evil terrorists, he returns home to say that his company won’t produce any more weapons and that they’re going to stop them from falling in to enemy hands.

Now, at this point, most rational business people would say, “Okay, let’s do some inventories, let’s figure out how to ensure arms don’t fall in to the wrong hands, yaddi yaddi yada.” But nope, Stark has his heart plugged in to a super compressed battery that’ll run a suit of armor for a little while… So why not build an even better suit of armor? And so he does, hence the title of the movie.

Overall, it’s a fun one. Downey gets several one-liners in throughout the movie, and his robotic assistant becomes one of the best sidekick’s I’ve seen in a superhero movie. It’s absolutely built for a sequel, so I have no doubt that this is just the beginning of yet another Marvel-based franchise.

Scifi-ness: 6 out of 10. There’s a holographic design studio that kinda rocks. Oh yeah, and the giant suit of armor.

Special-effects-rather-than-plot: Again, a 6 out of 10. This is a special effects movie – the action definitely trumps the dialogue, and most of it is CG.

Overall Grade: 7 out of 10. Worth the trouble to see it in theaters just for the fact that it is a big blockbuster type of movie. Oh, and if you like Audi’s, you’ll love the nonstop product placement (yuck – not at the Audi’s but just at the blatant commercial… Sorta like Will Smith’s I, Robot)

I struggled with the title of this post … It was a tossup between the shortened version of the official movie title (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), “George Lucas has lost his mind”, or “Indiana Jones has jumped the shark“.

Truthfully, Indy 4 was a let down, on several levels. I know this review is a little late, but if you haven’t managed to see Indiana’s latest adventure, all I can say is wait for the DVD. The rest of this review probably contains spoilers, so if you do want to see it and don’t want to be surprised, move along (lots of other great posts to peruse )

Harrison Ford is one of my favorite actors of all times, and much like Will Smith has been involved in a long line of great science fiction (along with action & drama, etc). Let’s not forget he’s the original Indy, and the original Han Solo. George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, also great creators of fine science fiction. But somehow all these people got together with rooms full of other intelligent and creative people and produced something that just doesn’t represent the Indy franchise well. And ultimately, much like the latest Star Wars trifecta, it seems like Lucas and company are straining to replace plot, character, and dialogue with fancy computer generated effects that aren’t convincingly real and aren’t adding to the story as a whole.

The Indy story opens at the “Area 51″ vault filled with all the treasures of the past – including a cameo appearance by the Ark of the covenant courtesy the first movie. Action ensues as Indy tries to keep our valueables from the Russians, including car chases, gunfire avoidance, and … oh yeah … a freaking nuclear explosion. Ahh, the 5o’s were great, huh? And Indy discovers that in the event of a nuclear detonation, all you really need is a Frigidaire model 205 lead-lined fridge and you’ll walk away from a nuclear blast unscathed – even after being tossed a kilometer across town. 50+ Harrison Ford doesn’t even get so much as a leg cramp.

The story continues as Indy gets caught up in a spy-game trying to outdo the Russians to get to the prize – a crystal skull supposed to reveal amazing powers of psychic abilities. The Russians are after it. Apparently the Americans aren’t. Shia LaBeouf channels Steve McQueen and is the heir-apparent to the Indy franchise. Poor kid. It’s a shame that River Pheonix died as a young man – he was already lined up to become the adult-replacement for Ford… Sorta like James bond never ages nor does Jack Ryan (of the Tom Clancy stories). LaBeouf is competent but so stereotyped that as an audience-member I don’t even care.

So, there you have it. Overall, if you were a fan of the Indy trilogy, just keep it that way. It’s a trilogy of movies that should stand by themselves. Don’t count this one in the tabulation – it’s the same series in name only. The adventure and fun of the first three have been replaced by a facade of it’s former greatness.

The short and sweet? This is a bad movie. It’s one of those movies where you really have to wonder – how did it make it past the pitch? let alone actually get cast, produced, edited, distributed, and finally make it in front of me? Aren’t there rooms full of smart people in Hollywood getting paid large sums of money to make sure that they don’t produce crap?

(Nevermind, I’m pretty sure said room and said people don’t exist)

Anyways, welcome to Fantastic 4, edition 2, Rise of the Silver Surfer. I want to preface this post by stating that I did not purchase FF4, rent it, or in any way actually decide this was worth a shot. It was on HBO. Late. And I wasn’t tired. And uhm… (working on further excuses)… I lost a bet. And Jessica Alba is in it. Yeah, that’s it! I watched it to see Jessica Alba.

The story begins with a planet being destroyed. A surfer flies away from it, en route to Earth. We’re doomed. Mr. Fantastic and The Invisible Woman (Alba) are getting married. And wouldn’t you know it – the Silver Surfer ruins the whole thing. What a bastard. Now it’s personal. There are two funny parts of the movie – one of them involves Stan Lee during the wedding scene (it’s always good to see a cameo).

Anyways, the moral of this review is don’t bother. There’s nothing near the entertainment value of some of the other comic book hero movies. Hell, I’d rather watch Ben Affleck in Daredevil than this again, and frankly that should say a lot. Hopefully we can all band together and ask Hollywood nicely to stop making this crap.

I’ll admit this much – I’ve never read a Harry Potter book in my life. I cringe at the thought. I watched the first movie (sans book) and thought it was pretty dull. But part of me really appreciates what that series of books has done – by turning on a lot of kids to reading. Just getting a child’s face in to a book these days seems like a daunting challenge, especially in the vastly more connected world of today.

Coming in October is another movie adaptation of a children’s book – The City of Ember. The premise is made of the stuff I love – mankind has lost the ability to live on the surface of Earth, and so has constructed a city (Ember) miles underground for mankind’s survivors. Only catch? The city only lasts 200 years. When the time is up, presumably, the planet will be ready for humans again.

Featuring a pretty good cast including Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, and Martin Landau (amongst others), this looks like a great flick for the scifi-minded children. I was fortunate to grow up with titles like Tron, Willow, The Neverending Story, and Labyrinth (thanks for creeping me out David Bowie), and I think Ember might be just the movie to capture the imagination for kids of many ages. I’m keeping my fingers crossed this earns a PG rating to ensure that even the young ones can give it a shot – and of course I hope many parents will encourage their children to read the book before going to see the movie. Nothing’s better than instilling in an entire generation the joy of saying, “Meh, the book was better.”

So to continue my updates on upcoming summer movies – (a) no I haven’t seen Iron Man yet, and (b) I’m really looking forward to the new X-Files sequel. Turns out since I last blogged on it Fox has gone ahead and updated the X-Files Website, featuring a standard-issue trailer. Lots of strung-together quotes, flashy action sequences truncated to amplify the thing, and of course, the X-Files music. It’s enough just to get the music, actually.

The plot appears to have something to do with maybe a telepath – someone that can see things that have happened or are about to happen. And thankfully we get a return of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson – not to mention original writing by Chris Carter (the creator of the franchise). Of course, I guess franchise ownership doesn’t mean much from the reviews I’m reading about Indiana Jones 4. Anyways, stay tuned for XFiles 2, hitting theaters July 25th.

There’s good science fiction and bad science fiction. But there’s also popcorn munching shoot ‘em ups that were born more from a video game concept than an actual storyline. Guess which column AVP: Requiem (Aliens Versus Predator 2) falls under. Yep – movie derived from the stuff that makes video games so fun to play. Terrible science fiction, but fun stupid entertainment, if you’re in to that kind of thing.

AVP is complete in its simplicity. There’s really no plot. The characters are all fairly archetyped. The monsters are plentiful and eager to go kill each other or humans – it doesn’t seem to make much difference. It’s set in Smalltown, USA. Explosions and blood-sprays are more common than lines of dialogue. So, yes, in summary I liked it.

Here’s the plot synopsis – somewhere, somehow, a Predator (you know, those things Arnie fought a couple decades ago) gets infested with an Alien (you know, those things that Sigourney discovered a couple decades ago) and viola, PredAlien. And that’s where the fun begins, because of course our PredAlien somehow gets dropped on to Earth. [Brief sidenote here - this part of the story didn't make much sense to me until I popped up to Wikipedia which explains the plot for AVP 2 pretty well (spoiler warning, which really doesn't matter because that would imply there's something to spoil...)]. So, low and behold, a small little mountain town in Colorado becomes home to angry, human-lovin’ Aliens. And somehow a Predator finds out about this whole thing and decides to come in to scope things out. And, yes, there are pesky humans that get in the way of both species of super-war-monster and end up being fodder for both sides. It’s a loving, warm, family film.

This could probably not be any more masculine if it tried. The women are uniformly gorgeous, and the men are all pretty uniformly brave and noble. Every flavor of firearm is brought out in this one, including a hand-held version of the famous Predator shoulder-cannon. And of course, the movie ends with an enticing suggestion that we’ll even get a third Aliens versus Predator movie – which will somehow bridge the gap from the AVP’s to the Aliens movie line (which follows the Weyland-Yutani “The Company” stuff that setup all of Ripley’s shenanigans in the Aliens series of movies).

The biggest problem with AVP-Requiem, as far as I’m concerned, is that it’s just too dark. I watched the DVD on a progressive-scan DVD player on a decent LCD TV with the lights off at night-time and could still barely make out some of the action in some scenes. Amp up the contrast a little on the next one, guys! Oh yes, and there’s ample blood, gore, violence, a far-too-brief bikini scene, and plenty of profanity as well. So, all in all, if you’re looking to watch a video-game storyline for a couple hours, AVP-R is ideal.

Well, last year I put together a preview of summer movies, so I figured I’d do the same thing again this year and highlight some of the soon-to-be-blockbusters for the Summer 2008 movie season.

Soon to be released

Iron Man - Had enough movies derived from your favorite comic books? Apparently Hollywood doesn’t think so, and probably for good reason – movies like Batman Begins, X-Men, Spiderman, and all the others have been hugely successful. Now Robert Downey gets a chance to play the ultra-tech hero, Iron Man. The premise is pretty straightforward: world-renoun weapons designer Tony Stark (played by Downey) gets to build a suit of armor to stave off mankind’s arch nemesis. Simple. Straightforward. Comic book to movie goodness. Expect this one to be the official starter of the blockbuster season. Releasing May, 2008.

Speed Racer – This one just looks terrible. A mix between hokey kid-friendly storyline and modern super motion video styling. I was never a fan of the original TV series, so I guess it’s not surprising I’m expecting bad things from this one. For the Lost lovers, it features Matthew Fox. For all I know, Speed Racer could be the biggest movie of Spring, but I really hope it’s not.  Releasing May, 2008.

… Further Out …

The Incredible Hulk – Are you sensing a trend in science fiction productions? The recipe is almost too good to be true – built in audiences, already established goofy plot twists, and basic carnage. As if one comic-book movie weren’t enough, Edward Norton takes on the role of angry-green-hero Bruce Banner. As usual, I’m expecting bad things.  Look for it some time in June, 2008.

The Happening -  M. Night Shyamalan is back, this time with a family running from a disaster and trying to sort out how they’ll survive. Post apocalypse or dead people? We’ll have to wait and see – as with most Shyamalan flicks this one is pretty deep under wraps. Coming in June, 2008. Personally, I loved Signs, The Village, Unbreakable, and The Sixth Sense, so this will likely get a viewing just based on past performance alone.

Wall-E – Disney makes a foray in to science fiction kids films with this animated flick. Odds are it’ll have the usual Disney formula in place – quirky characters, colorful scenes, and a feel-good moral at the end. Perfect recipe for a good flick and a great performance at the box office. Also on the plate for June, 2008.

Hancock – Super hero comic book movies: Meet your match. Will Smith takes on the role of Hancock, a super hero that just can’t do good. Unlucky, irresponsible, just plain tired of the demands of the ordinary mortals. It’s a parody on Superman that deserves a watch. Of course, Smith is standard issue summer blockbuster science fiction faire: Independence Day, Men in Black, and i, Robot all stand to prove he’s as capable of drawing crowds in as he is playing the loveable main character. Check out the funny Hancock trailer here. Slated for the 4th of July Weekend.

 Also on deck … 

Hellboy 2 (I don’t know why… ugh…)

Journey to the Center of the Earth (3-D… Because the movie would be terrible in 2 dimensions.)

The Dark Knight (Batman Begins gets a sequel, starring recently deceased Heath Ledger as The Joker – likely to be an enormous box office success, and probably on par with the quality of the first revised-Batman tale)

… And of course, X-Files 2.

If you can’t tell, I’m a little jaded by the upcoming selections. There’s so much great SciFi being written in novels that I can’t understand why the push is on comic books these days. I guess it’s just easier to take a comic book audience to the movies than it is to get a reading audience there. Hopefully I’m wrong about a couple of these and they turn out to be good movies. Only the summer will tell.

It’s news to me – there’s an X-Files movie sequel on its way – and it’s close to being delivered! There’s no trailer, no plot synopsis – this one is being held pretty tightly under wraps. Check out the X Files 2 IMDB page for some more details. At least they got David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson back aboard. Other cast members include Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, and rapper/actor Xibit (Pimp My UFO?) Best of all it’s a Chris Carter product, so hopefully it’ll ratain the same quirky nerdiness and fun as the original X-Files had (not the later Robert Patrick episodes after the show had jumped the shark).

Release date looks like it’s set for July 25th – only a few months off.

I’m writing this post to tell you about the posts I’m going to post. Get it?

Anyways, I’ve enjoyed a great couple of weeks of SciFi-ness, and I’ve got plenty of things on the horizon. I can tell you I’ve just broken in to the world of Phillip K. Dick, and I’m amazed. I was given a copy of his 1962 Hugo Award winning novel, The Man in the High Castle, and devoured it within a weekend. I’m such a huge fan of alternative-history stories, and frankly I’m amazed it took me this long to be shown this extraordinary work. I’ll have a full write up soon. I turned right around and purchased a Phillip K. Dick collection of short stories (a “Reader” as the cover leads you to believe) – including numerous short stories that have inspired films such as Total Recall, The Minority Report, and Paycheck. Even the stories that didn’t seem to find their way to Hollywood are great.

I’ve also picked up another Larry Niven book that I haven’t gotten a chance to start – but I was really blown away by Ringworld (which is, alas, another book that I’ve read recently but haven’t had the chance to review). And to top it off, I Am Legend is out on DVD, I just watched Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001, and I still don’t know if I want to bother seeing Jumpers (which I’ll have to wait for on DVD anyways). And just for fun, I also snuck in a re-viewing of Star Trek IV – the one with the whales and San Francisco in the early 90’s. There’s some great comedy mixed in there – proving once again that the best SciFi is the stuff that captures the humanity of the genre. (”Well double-dumb-ass on you!”)

On the TV front, Lost is a brief hiatus which is probably a good thing – this season was going quickly and I think I want a little time to soak it all in. Michael still sucks, and I still can’t figure out what to think of the current Locke persona. Good guy, bad guy? [spoiler] And we’re killing off the French chick? Ouch. She waits 16 years to meet her daughter and then gets caught in some crossfire. The fact that it’s returning in a few short weeks is great news – I’m glad the writers strike has been resolved and things can return to normal… Jericho also wrapped up another short season – I hope CBS decides to hang on to this little underdog.

Well, like I said, there’s plenty of work laid out for me to get to in the days and weeks to come. I hope you’re all enjoying a fine weekend!